I’ve been entertaining the idea of taking my interest as a child of visiting open houses and touring model homes, watching 360 tours online, enjoying the news about the ebb and flow of the market into real consideration as to whether I should actually pursue the idea swirling in my head.  I’ve been thinking about this for almost a year now, when I was on maternity leave and really wishing I had a career that afforded me the opportunity to work at home, be the boss of my own destiny, and have a major effect on others’ lives.  This journey has been marked with so many different feelings…at times I’m so sure of what I want to do, then I doubt myself, certain it is something I should definitely go for, doubt myself.  It is a constant back and forth. 

Recently, the feeling has almost been inescapable.  I’ve felt like I would be able to empower so many others my pursuing my own desires.  My only challenge now is to exhibit the COURAGE I feel on the inside, and make my dreams my reality.

I have a feeling one of the things holding me back is related to the wonderful quote we all love…”our deepest fears”… Yes, perhaps I am afraid of the greatness I feel will come from this. Perhaps I am.

In the past week, my desires have become even more inescapable.  It is almost as if everytime I try to ignore it, God is advancing it one step forward.  I met an amazing woman with a vision much like mine.  Kaira Rouda, http://www.kairarouda.com, has taken her vision and walked in her fabulousness, and made her dreams come true – all why sticking to her values and being the very best she can be.  I admire her courageousness and in the past week, she has served as a tremendous inspiration.

Today, I read an article from the Baltimore Sun, http://www.baltimoresun.com/business/realestate/bal-re.openhouse01feb01,0,5945690.story?page=2, talking about how real estate agents are getting creative in their marketing of homes.  As I was sitting here reading this  I thought ‘wow, this sounds a lot like what I do as a fundraiser’.  Building relationships, getting creative with your approaches, attracting diverse backgrounds.  It is almost as if God just keeps placing little tid bits that I can handle in order for me to have the willingness to unleash the courage within me.

I just realized, I CAN DO THIS!

Well, coming off of a great Resurrection Sunday and feeling all things being made new again, I know it is time for me to make things happen that my heart is telling me need to happen.

Today I had an amazing conversation with an amazing woman at an amazing company and realized…when I give the plans of my heart to the Universe, God guides them on the path and directs the right people to me. 

Today is the day…I realize my dream – and go for it!

I’ve engaged this concept and am grateful for my organization’s leadership in thinking of new ways to conceptualize the structure of our organization. As a young non-profit professional I consider myself a leader in many ways in my field although my job title does not say ‘Director of’. 

So how does a participatory organization function in theory and in practice?  I will certainly let you know.

        -Jean-Georges Vongerichten

This is a spiritual journey for me as much as it is a professional journey.  As being quieter becomes a part of my everyday activites, I’m able to reflect more,  hear more, do more.

There’s a transformation going on inside of me that no one knows about but me.   This revolutionary transformation is greater than me, and I am aware of this, which is why I fight it. 

It’s a blessing to be called to do something.  I have a sticky note above my laptop that says ‘Lord, please give me a clear sense of my personal calling’.  Whenever I’m going through a dizzying day and feel like I can’t find my purpose, I look up at that note, and thankfully God gently reminds me that His calling for me is to be right where I’m at. 

I’m enjoying this silence. Getting used to reflecting, hearing, doing more.  I pray it helps me to not miss a moment of my calling.

I listened to a podcast by Ms. Williamson this morning, and this thought stuck with me all day. I wrote it on my note pad sitting next to my keyboard, and every time I glanced at it, it made me pause for a minute.  I couldn’t seem to get away from this notion that “all things are lessons God would have you learn”.  How does that apply to my work life, my personal life and where can I find the balance that I so desperately need?

It’s funny because this morning driving in to work I said to myself, “Niecy, you deserve to be well and whole”.  It’s not like I have gone through any recent disaster or turmoil, but something on the inside of me is unsettled.  So when I said that to myself today, my state of mind shifted.  Instead of overthinking and overdoing, I’m choosing to be quiet, stand still and learn the lessons from God.